he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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