There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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