My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
last night I used snow as a chaser
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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