it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
