you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
