I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
