I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
