She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
