Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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