Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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