I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
