i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
