FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
