Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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