Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
