ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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