Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
