I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
