I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
