It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
