true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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