Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
