two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
