I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
