I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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