is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
did i just pee glitter
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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