She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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