I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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