i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
