these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
