you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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