Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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