I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
