there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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