first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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