he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just found a bag of teeth...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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