I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
