Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
