I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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