There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
