We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Randomize