so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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