Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize