you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You are a genius and a whore.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize