I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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