Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
