I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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