is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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