I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So much rum. So many feels.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
