so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
