And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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