Betty ford says i'm here all night
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
