you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
