is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
