I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
