How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
