just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's never too late to be topless.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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