Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
