just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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