I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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