apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
