it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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